Woodstalk!
I'm trying hard not to laugh/freak out as I type this right now...
About a month ago or so, some of you on Friendster might have witnessed the little war me and Cheesy had on a girl called Clarissa who took a whole bunch of Cheesy's photos and claimed them as her own. In my part I managed to send a message to everyone in this Clarissa's friends list and asked them to remove themselves from her list. The 'campaign' was a success, and I suffered a backlash of messages, all in the tune of, "Hey you're cute, can we be friends?"
Maintaining my 'Only friends I know' policy, their requests were denied politely.
Now, it so happens that I'm in this online club, of which its site was shut down temporarily. We congregated to Myspace to keep in touch with members. Reluctantly, I joined half out of curiosity and half out of loyalty to the club. Since I didn't know most of the members personally, I didn't mind adding other people I didn't know as well.
Since I joined, I've received the most weirdest messages ever,bordering total insanity! I'm not even talking about those with the most atrocious level of English. Loyal readers, in tune with a previous blog on my constant stalkability, I shall share with you a recent message I've received in Myspace, unedited, including my response and his reply to it:
From: Mohammed
Date: Dec 26, 2004 03:58 AM
how are you . I hope you feel fine
I am studt here in Malaysia intenational school I can aspeak fraice and english ,by the way I am Mohammed 25 years old from Ghana I like fool ball .not smoking even drinking . I am muslim single I am looking for wiff even muslim ar christian I dant care I sed my pc soon con you tell me about you I LOVE YOU SO MUCH
From: Mystery Wolf
Date: Dec 26, 2004 04:42 AM
Hi,
I'm fine, thanks. I don't know how you "love me so much" because you don't know me, but you're welcome to add me as your friend.
From: Mohammed
Date: Dec 27, 2004 01:43 AM
LOVE YOU SO MUCH ? BABY BECAUSE OF YOU NOW ICHANGE I HAVE MY NEW LIFE. PLS BABY I WANT YOU TO MERRIED . YOU AND AND BE MOTHER OF MY KID"S PLS BABY DON' T DISAPOINT ME . I DIE FOR YOU GOD KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU I NEED YOU .YOU ARE MUST INPORTAND TO ME .IHOPE SOMETEMES YOU MEET MY FAMILY >AND I HOPE YOU CAME WITH ME IN GHANA ? OKAY NOW ALWAYS TAKE CARE OF YOURSELE I LOVE YOU AND I MISS YOU SO MUCH ?OUR LIFE TOGETHER HAS BROUGHT ;I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT ARE MY GREATEST TREASURE MERRY X' MAS LOVE AND CARE DARLING MOHAMMED
... please tell me that you're as creeped out as I am...
EDIT: Okay, I drafted my reply, here it is! :
Wow I'm glad I changed your life. To insanity that is. Oh don't worry, I am "merried". In fact, with all this Christmas cheer and booze around, I'm so merry!
You want my kids? *looks around* Last time I checked, I didn't have any. I also had no idea I was so "inportand" to you, if only I knew what that was. Me meeting your family? Aww, you're too kind, I'm sure they'll get used to a girl part flesh and part surgical steel. My dad also mentioned that he wants a herd of a thousand camels, twenty white cows, one goat, two bantam weight chickens, and your severed head as a sign of agreement to meet me.
Visiting Ghana would be cool! I love travelling places... but of course not with you. Alrighty I'll take care of myself, thanks for the concern. Good to know that I'm your greatest treasure... since sliced bread?
... oh, and who are you again?
About a month ago or so, some of you on Friendster might have witnessed the little war me and Cheesy had on a girl called Clarissa who took a whole bunch of Cheesy's photos and claimed them as her own. In my part I managed to send a message to everyone in this Clarissa's friends list and asked them to remove themselves from her list. The 'campaign' was a success, and I suffered a backlash of messages, all in the tune of, "Hey you're cute, can we be friends?"
Maintaining my 'Only friends I know' policy, their requests were denied politely.
Now, it so happens that I'm in this online club, of which its site was shut down temporarily. We congregated to Myspace to keep in touch with members. Reluctantly, I joined half out of curiosity and half out of loyalty to the club. Since I didn't know most of the members personally, I didn't mind adding other people I didn't know as well.
Since I joined, I've received the most weirdest messages ever,
From: Mohammed
Date: Dec 26, 2004 03:58 AM
how are you . I hope you feel fine
I am studt here in Malaysia intenational school I can aspeak fraice and english ,by the way I am Mohammed 25 years old from Ghana I like fool ball .not smoking even drinking . I am muslim single I am looking for wiff even muslim ar christian I dant care I sed my pc soon con you tell me about you I LOVE YOU SO MUCH
From: Mystery Wolf
Date: Dec 26, 2004 04:42 AM
Hi,
I'm fine, thanks. I don't know how you "love me so much" because you don't know me, but you're welcome to add me as your friend.
From: Mohammed
Date: Dec 27, 2004 01:43 AM
LOVE YOU SO MUCH ? BABY BECAUSE OF YOU NOW ICHANGE I HAVE MY NEW LIFE. PLS BABY I WANT YOU TO MERRIED . YOU AND AND BE MOTHER OF MY KID"S PLS BABY DON' T DISAPOINT ME . I DIE FOR YOU GOD KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU I NEED YOU .YOU ARE MUST INPORTAND TO ME .IHOPE SOMETEMES YOU MEET MY FAMILY >AND I HOPE YOU CAME WITH ME IN GHANA ? OKAY NOW ALWAYS TAKE CARE OF YOURSELE I LOVE YOU AND I MISS YOU SO MUCH ?OUR LIFE TOGETHER HAS BROUGHT ;I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT ARE MY GREATEST TREASURE MERRY X' MAS LOVE AND CARE DARLING MOHAMMED
... please tell me that you're as creeped out as I am...
EDIT: Okay, I drafted my reply, here it is! :
Wow I'm glad I changed your life. To insanity that is. Oh don't worry, I am "merried". In fact, with all this Christmas cheer and booze around, I'm so merry!
You want my kids? *looks around* Last time I checked, I didn't have any. I also had no idea I was so "inportand" to you, if only I knew what that was. Me meeting your family? Aww, you're too kind, I'm sure they'll get used to a girl part flesh and part surgical steel. My dad also mentioned that he wants a herd of a thousand camels, twenty white cows, one goat, two bantam weight chickens, and your severed head as a sign of agreement to meet me.
Visiting Ghana would be cool! I love travelling places... but of course not with you. Alrighty I'll take care of myself, thanks for the concern. Good to know that I'm your greatest treasure... since sliced bread?
... oh, and who are you again?
Chewed out by Mystery Wolf at 7:13 PM
:
ha ha ha...wow...I wouldn't say this guys displays the general traits of a real stalker except a religiously dillusioned man. And no, this guy aint from Ghana...he is probably sum perveted malay guy who has watched too many hollywood movies with those subtitles that say the opposite of what the dialogue says...I wud suggest that this kid be brought to me for rehabilitation.
aka johnnie underpants
I will cordially send him to the Johnnie Underpants Rehab Facility after I'm finished ignoring him (which is never, by the way).
I know he ain't stalker-like right now, but who knows eh? He's just plain um... how do I put this lightly... INSANE?!
YOU part surgical steel meanie!
I wonder what will you say, then, when I confess my feelings for you. :(
Aiyoh, myspace is known for kinkier pursuits. I'm not there though.
"YOU part surgical steel meanie!"
Man you ain't telling me that you're on this guy's side are ya?
somehow i have this distinct feeling that this guy and the 'i want sex you' guy are one and the same. maybe he really did take english classes, from a camel
A.
*lol* nice one Alfred!
They're all poop-bags for all I know...
MARK A TERRITORY
<< Home